


We are all we need (and baby too)

by DesertHeart



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Hockey, Ice Skating, Love, M/M, Parental Death, butchering Of sports, drunk driver mention, trying to be parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 01:03:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12900651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertHeart/pseuds/DesertHeart
Summary: Raising a child, being a professional hockey player, trying to advance in college ice skating competitions. Then just trying to live and love.Well they are managing.





	1. Late to the match

Lukas hurried down the street towards the arena, he couldn’t believe that he was goin to be so late to this match. He shifted Emil in his arm the toddler making a disgruntled noise before snuggling back into Lukas’ neck. Lukas had been on his way out the door when Emil had decided that they were not going to go watch Mathias during his game tonight. It was a pretty big match that would allow Mathias’ team to qualify for the Finals if they won. Lukas knew they had to be there for Mathias to support him and keep his spirits up. However, Emil had thrown a fit and his supply cup all over hims of causing Lukas to have to stop and delay them while he changed the child and got him more to drink and then wrestled the child out the door and into the car. Then Lukas had driven down the block just to remember that he needed their tickets and to lock the front door to the house. Which meant he had to turn all the way around and drive back home le to complete those tasks. He was quiet annoyed with himself by the time they finally arrived at the arena having to park pretty far away since they were so late. When he finally gets into the building he can hear that the game has already started. He scowls a bit but doesn’t let Emil see. The child was almost asleep but as soon as they cross into the stands the noise wakes the child back up who looks startled and on the verge of tears again until they finally arrive in the privacy of their top seat boxes which Mathias got for them every time to help combat Lukas’ anxiety in crowds.  
Lukas steps forward looking down at the active game. He could see Mathias’ jersey and form from here and could tell that the other wasn’t doing so well. Mathias often struggled when Lukas wasn’t there to cheer him on or at least show silent support. Lukas hopes that the other will turn around and see the two of them soon. Emil was slowly starting to get more interested in the area around them again instead of hiding looking out at the game and smiling a bit finally returning to his normally bright and cheerful personality. Lukas knew t was just the terrible twos coming into play but it was still exhausting. Not to mention that they were all still adjusting to the sudden changes in their life. Lukas was twenty this year and had been living with Mathias since he was Eighteen. Mathias was just two years older than him having just turned twenty two. For the two years they had been living together, and the four years of their wild relationship, they had mostly been alone. Emil hadn’t been born to Lukas’ parents until after Lukas had properly moved out and in with his boyfriend. He had still been there often through College to help his parents care for the child so late in their years now. He had quickly grown to love his precious brother often keeping him overnight at the home he shared with Mathias and Mathias’ younger brother Berwald. Berwald was the same age as Lukas and in college studying to do carpentry and architecture. He was an ambitious man. But recently Emil’s overnight stays had become more permanent.  
Lukas still remembered the night the change had happened, he and Mathias had just been watching a movie, his phone had gone off but he hadn’t answered it missing a call from his mother. He had tried to call her back but she had not answered the phone. It didn’t seem like a big deal then. He had simply settled back in with Mathias. It wasn’t until a few hours later that he got the late night visit from the police who told him that his parents had been hit by a drunk driver, they hadn’t made it. Lukas hadn’t known how to handle it, he had emotional repression issues, anxiety, severe depression, so he had just stared at the office silently for a long time his mind struggling to process the information and what it would mean for them. It was Mathias who asked the most important question, the one Lukas couldn’t push out around his swollen throat, 

“Was there a child in the car with them? A little boy whose hair has white streaks in it? Emil?” Mathias asked trying to figure out where the boy was. 

Lukas was grateful to his lover once again feeling indebted to Mathias’ amazing ability to simply talk to people. The officer nodded, “Yes, we found him, he had an amazing car seat and only suffered a broken arm. Lukas had relaxed hearing this glancing back up at Mathias who had nodded, 

“Where is he? That is Lukas’ little brother. We will take him in.” 

The officer had shaken his head. “The social workers came and collected him. Technically he is in state custody now. You will have to contact them tomorrow.” 

Mathias thanked the officer and sent him on his way. He had carefully navigated Lukas to the couch knowing the other was still suffering from a severe shock. While Lukas was still he moved important breakable items away from him. It was a routine now, they knew each other. When Lukas snapped out of it, it was like a bungee cord snapping back into place, loud and violent as Lukas swept everything off of the coffee table in his grief striking out to try and Deal with his pain. It didn’t help, not really, it never did. However he still threw his tantrum breaking things that were near enough as Mathias tried to soothe him with warm Coco and sweet butter cookies. When Lukas had passed the violence stage he had collapsed into a pile on the floor sobbing. Mathias had carefully lifted the other carrying him past a shocked Berwald back up to bed. Mathias was not surprised. He himself was often described as a tornado. Running and running and tearing through things for his whole life run. Lukas however, Mathias knew, was more like a volcano. Dormant until enough pressure built up to create a violent explosion. Often their were rumblings that showed an eruption was coming but they could be mistaken or overlooked. 

That fateful night had happened six months ago, during that time they had petitioned for custody of Emil and had been granted it. They were slowly working on an adoption process. However before they could both adopt Emil they would have to be formally married. They didn’t plan on doing that for a while so the paperwork was in process waiting for that final piece. They still received welfare checks from the social workers to make sure they were properly taking care of the child. Lukas sees Mathias turning around and making his way back towards them. He prods Emil encouraging the boy to wave furiously which he does eyes now bright his fit seemingly a long forgotten incident. Lukas waves a bit slower and Shyer as well but he knew Mathias would understand. There wasn’t time for Mathias to properly acknowledge them but he threw himself back into the game with vigor. Lukas relaxes. This was Mathias’ first proper season with a professional team playing hockey. He had excelled at it in college and had been picked, which allowed them to have the money to care for Emil, however when Lukas wasn’t at Mathias’ games.. Mathias could be known to slip up and not play as well. He was an anxious person as well. Worried about his love and almost son. Lukas settles in to watch the game now pleased with the way it has turned out now as they win this game just like every other in the season. He had full faith in Mathias’ abilities to win without him there. But Mathias didn’t. Lukas joins the team afterwards staying on the edges just greeting a few he enjoyed speaking too. He watched as Gilbert Belshdmit, goalie, was greeted by his lover, Roderich edelstien, who was actually a well respected composer. Lukas always personally thought he was a better violinist but he had never pursued to play professionally so he supposed he will never truly know. When Mathias makes it to them he pulls them both into a crushing loving hug. Kissing both of their cheeks. 

“You two were late.” Mathias says softly into Emil’s hair as he nuzzles the giggling sleepy child. 

“Emil didn’t like his socks.” Lukas provides smiling at the scene not noticing as the team photographer snaps a picture of their family moment. Kiku Honda was a force to be reckoned with. Not that anyone would ever want to, he always took the most beautiful photos and managed to still go unnoticed. Arguing with the man was like shouting at a full forest right after the birds had all gone to bed and everything was silent and unmoving before the cicadas woke. 

Mathias laughs cheerfully and nods as they get ready to go home. Lukas relaxes, another match, set, another crisis, averted. Things were definitely looking up.


	2. Chapter 2

Mathias loved Lukas, he knew he would never love anyone more than he loved Lukas. Except possibly Emil. The child was a pure joy to be around. But he loved them differently. Emil was his son. They had only had him a few months now, four to be exact, but he had no doubt about the love of his child. His love for lukas was more intense. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and never let him go. He wanted to make him laugh and smile and take away all of his grief and pain. He wanted to hold him in bed and make love to him in the early hours of the day. 

He wanted to take Emil to the park, help him with his homework, watch his eyes light up with joy on Christmas. He wanted to be his father. 

Perhaps it was because they were both his firsts, Emil his first child and Lukas his first true lover, but he didn’t think he would ever actually be able to live without either of them. It wasn’t like he hadn’t messed about with others before Lukas, but Lukas had changed everything and been his first proper long term love. He still remembered the first day he had seen Lukas. It had been mid January, the ground piled in snow and the local lake frozen over. The lights of the park still glowing despite the hour of eleven at night. It was dark and cold and the park was empty. Mathias had been trying to stumble home after a party when he had chances upon the frozen lake. A single skater gliding across the ice, during the day plenty of children would come and play messing up the brilliant surface. But at night there was no one but the stumbling drunks or the introverts who preferred the quiet and peace of the dark park. In the soft lamp light Lukas had looked like an angel. 

To Mathias idiocy he had shouted out to the other to stop and come talk to him. He had been drunk and slurring and probably didn’t seem very trustworthy. Lukas had fled sliding to the edge of the ice and trying to quickly tug his ice skates off so he could flee in his regular shoes. Mathias had been to drunk to catch up. That had probably been for the best. 

The next time he saw Lukas was on TV while he was flipping through the channels and saw coverage of the junior ice skating championships for the region. He hadn’t been sure it was actually him at first but it didn’t take long to verify it. The boy moved with the same grace and the same beauty that he had seen that night in the park. Excitedly he had watched. He learned that the boys name was Lukas and that he was only sixteen years old. He felt a bit guilty then. His younger brother was sixteen. And he was eighteen. Mathias knew then that he wouldn’t peruse the boy. He was to young and likely not interested anyway. He barely knew him. He figured the other was extremely intelligent and talented so he was shocked when Lukas didn’t place at all in the competition. It seemed more reasonable a little bit later when he saw the interviewer trying to ask Lukas how he felt about the results of the tournament and Lukas had tried to speak his face going red his eyes going wide. Anxiety. Lukas had been unable to respond to the question and instead had fled. Mathias had recognized the wide eyed symptoms from Berwald his baby brother who truly struggled in social interactions. Mathias decided that even if he wouldn’t Pursue the younger he could still try to meet up with him and let him know it’s okay to be anxious and that he did fantastic anyway. 

Mathias tried not to be a freak but he didn’t handle it well. He started to hang out at the park at night hoping he would show up. He never did, about two weeks into this wait Mathias realized Lukas probably was seeing him first and fleeing due to his fear of people. So he waited until later the next night and sure enough when he got there Lukas was gliding across the ice practicing beautiful moves which Mathias knew were performed better than winner of the tournament. The fact that Lukas hadn’t placed at all was astounding. Mathias slipped his own skates on, of course he had a pair, he played hockey for the college team, and slid onto the ice. “Hey, mind if I join you?” He had asked. 

Lukas had jumped and nearly fallen turning to flee again. “No! Wait! Please! I just wanted to tell you that you were really good! And i can help you! I skate too! You were out of balance at the tournament! I can help!” Mathias had shouted desperate for the other to stay. 

Lukas had paused turning back to him. “You are the one who has been stalking me.” 

“Ahhhh.” Mathias had scratched his head embarrassed “yeah I guess I have been. Sorry about that... I just really wanted to meet you ya know? You are very talented but I noticed that you were pretty anxious, so is my brother ya know? Anyway I play hockey and thought that maybe some mixed tactics might help you. Would it be better if we met like in daytime somewhere crowded?” Mathias wanted to hit himself for not thinking this all the way through. Of course Lukas was terrified of this stranger in the dark: 

“I..... yeah okay. Tomorrow, the coffee shop on third and palace street. The Expresso. 4pm. If you are late I am leaving and I don’t ever want to see you again.” Lukas said before succeeding in fleeing. 

Mathias had grinned and gone home hoping to succeed better the next day. He had. They had met and talked and Mathias knew how to handle people like his brother so by extension he was able to help Lukas. It didn’t take long to discover that the reason Lukas wasn’t winning really was because he was getting to anxious on the ice. Having panic attacks before time and just in general he was ready to give up. Mathias didn’t want him to. So he helped him. The very first time Mathias followed him to a competition and cheered him on from the sidelines, was the first time Lukas placed, he placed bronze but it was something and to see the shine on Lukas’ face was amazing. After that he had met Lukas’ parents. A terrifying ordeal the parents annoyed Lukas was hanging out with an older boy. Lukas just rolled his eyes and did it anyway though and they eventually accepted it. Slowly, Mathias really fell in love with the other, his wit and sarcastic comments, the sweetness that often didn’t show in front of others. He never said anything about his crush though. He knew better, he would wait, when Lukas was seventeen a little over a year since they met he started to get a bit more withdrawn, he avoided Mathias more and started hanging out more with Berwald. Their similar issues and brilliance bonded them together. Mathias tried not to be jealous but he was. Ridiculously so. But he tried not to show it.

However, he continued to goto every competition and Lukas came to every game and he discovered that they were truly stronger together. There was very little they could not conquer when they were facing the world together. Six months after turning seventeen Lukas finally won gold and was offered a scholarship to skate for the university in town, the same place Mathias played hockey for. Lukas was overjoyed and he drove over to tell Mathias and Berwald, mathias opened the door smiling happy to see the other and then in full shock when Lukas threw his arms around his neck and had kissed him deeply and passionately before seeming to remember himself and falling quickly quiet, pulling away from him in embarrassment. Mathias pulled him closer and kissed him again. He learned that Lukas’ drawing away from him over the past few months had been because of Lukas’ growing crush on him. After that they had started dating. But Mathias was always very careful with the younger never pressing past kisses. Mathias never wanted to live without him. And he never would have to.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mathias say in the audience close to the edge of the rink where Lukas would be able to see him close by. Emil had his own seat but was currently in Mathias lap not really caring about the things happening or anything besides the phone in his hands. He knew that some people didn’t approve of letting a child have a lot of screentime but Lukas had decreed it be allowed and Mathias wasn’t going to argue. It was an interactive reading app. Lukas had told Mathias that he had been reading on a college level when he was still only ten years old. The way he was working with Emil had Mathias thinking Emil would be there too by that age. Mathias enjoyed reading as well but often struggled to pay attention to it. Mathias had been diagnosed with ADHD from a young age. It had been prominent in his upbringing and still troubled him today often making him seem like a large child due to his inability to pay attention. Even now his eyes wandered as he struggled to pay attention to the other competitors. He could see sweet Lukas standing on the edge of the rink with his coach. A tall older man with long blond hair and similar blue eyes to Lukas. When the two stood close together like this heads bent together to discuss the show, Mathias would almost promise that they were related. However, the funny thing was that Mathias knew the man, Adelbert, he was the father of one of Mathias’ close friends, a man named Gilbert. Gilbert was a pretty special guy, he was on the hockey team with him and was known for his many health issues. Gilbert was an Albino, he had been born with no pigmentation at all. His hair was often compared to the snow and his eyes scared people. Gilbert also had a host of issues that often came along with albinism. He was Deaf and wore cochlear implants. He was double implanted which meant that he had not one, but two holes drilled into his head one on each side, which would make an head injury he took on the ice that much worse. But it also meant that Emil had someone to look up to. 

Emil had a syndrome, one that Mathias could never really spell or remember, if anyone was to ask Lukas he would clearly tell them Waardenburg syndrome, type one. Emil had been born with blonde hair with just a front lock of white hair. He had also been born with mild hearing loss and his eyes were just a little bit to far apart according to normal expectations. Emil’s hair was already losing the other pigmentation he had been born with slowly but surely turning white. They had been told to expect delays in his development but Emil had surpassed all of their expectations functioning nearly on the same level as every other child though occasionally struggling with his motor skills. 

Mathias thought Emil was perfect just the way he was. The doctors said that at his rate his hair would be fully blonde by the time he was fourteen or fifteen. Emil’s eyes were also a pale ice blue. Different from his brothers and from Gilbert’s, but the hearing loss and coloring were enough that Emil liked being around this person who looked like himself. Emil had hearing aids but didn’t like them much. His hearing loss wasn’t as profound as Gilbert’s so he didn’t need the cochlear implants. Gilbert had also once confessed to Mathias, they had been fifteen and lovers at the time, Gilbert had been laying in bed with Mathias his CI’s abandoned on the table when he whispered, his voice thick with the accent that comes from being deaf as well as doubled by the accent of being German, “I never wanted these, they put them in when I was only six months old. I don’t know if Vati even really had an option. They were invented in Germany you know. Considered a pride. Germany is a central point for Oralism in the deaf community. They often don’t ever let us learn any form of sign language and don’t teach us anything more than basic trade skills. That’s why we came here. Vati wanted me to have equal opportunities you know? When he realized what they wanted from me, what they would do, how they would control and lessen my life, he brought me here. I was only a year old then and I wish I could have started with a stronger base in sign language. It’s hard. To listen all day.” Gilbert had fallen quiet and Mathias had let him sleep. They had not been lovers long, they worked far better as friends. But Mathias had still tried to learn basic sign language to help his friend. After hearing that plea... he did alright too. But Gilbert had his CI’s and often mathias forgot. But when Gilbert did need the help Mathias did his best. However, Gilbert’s best friends and lover often did better than him. But now Mathias was using sign language for sweet Emil. Bilingual education was the best according to Lukas. 

Lukas was currently preparing to skate his program. Mathias got Emil’s attention and pointed out Lukas, Emil thrilled and waving Lukas smiling a bit. His mouth a tense taught line. Mathias could tell that the other was extremely nervous, the program starts Adelbert watching with calculating eyes as Lukas begins. The pressure causes Lukas to have a small skip in the first few moments but after making eye contact with his lover and baby in the crowd he seems to recover. This is what their plan was, 

“Ignore the crowd Lukas. I am the only one here. Me and Emil.” Mathias told Lukas that before every competition and Lukas always did well once he pretended he was only skating for him. The program ends. Lukas landed each and every one of his jumps and he looked beautiful the whole time. 

Lukas only places silver today, the disappointment from not placing top gold was strong even though his coach told him that he would be fine. They would win next time. Lukas had lost out to an overly feminine male, Feliks was his name. The blonde was overly friendly and bright. An opposite of Lukas who was often called the ice prince due to his cool personality instead of his ability on the ice. It takes a while to cheer Lukas back up but he manages all right. Sweet Lukas had severe depression. So it was often hard after a let down. But by the end of the night when Emil was finally sleeping and Mathias laid Lukas down in the bed and sweetly loved him, he helped show Lukas how much silver really meant.


End file.
